


Old Stories & Faded Memories

by 1Q96



Series: fic prompts [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memories, Multi, Self-Reflection, good memories, painful memories, questions about love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 16:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12369834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Q96/pseuds/1Q96
Summary: Whenever painful memories would come back to him in the middle of the night, his first instinct was to get up from his bed and go to his balcony. There was always something comforting about seeing the subtle beauty of Brooklyn under the silvery moonlight. The aura of the borough during this time of the night was always very soothing for Magnus, especially when he hears the quiet murmurs of people coming and going, the few cars still driving by, and the distant music softly playing from another apartment nearby.“If you loved me, you’d show it.”He closed his eyes as his mind drift back...____Or, Magnus wakes up in the middle of the night, and he reflects on the moments he shared with people who he had loved (and lost) in the centuries he has spent living in this world. Along the way, he figures out the answer to all the questions that's been bothering him for so long.





	Old Stories & Faded Memories

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my tumblr, which you can read [here](http://hail-andfarewell.tumblr.com/post/162901196388/5-if-you-loved-me-youd-fight-for-it-if-you). this is actually an old piece i've written a few months prior.

_“If you loved me, you’d fight for it.”_

The distant voice of a long-forgotten past resurfaced at the back of Magnus’s mind as he stood silently at his loft’s balcony, his body slightly leaning towards the edge of the concrete railings. The cool breeze of the midnight air blew past his tired and weary body, and the unwelcome feeling of the sudden cold sent an involuntary shiver down his spine. Although uncomfortable in that state, he clearly did not have any intention to move away from his place on the balcony. So instead of changing his position, he decided to stay and let his shoulders slump forward as he rested his arms above the freezing concrete. He absentmindedly rubbed his hands together to produce some sort of warmth, while his dark brown glamoured eyes stared right ahead towards the stunning view in front of him. 

Whenever painful memories would come back to him in the middle of the night, his first instinct was to get up from his bed and go to his balcony. There was always something comforting about seeing the subtle beauty of Brooklyn under the silvery moonlight. The aura of the borough during this time of the night was always very soothing for Magnus, especially when he hears the quiet murmurs of people coming and going, the few cars still driving by, and the distant music softly playing from another apartment nearby. 

_“If you loved me, you’d show it.”_

He closed his eyes as his mind drift back to the old-fashioned club he used to go to in Manhattan during the 1930’s. He could picture it clearly in his head—the atmosphere of the place was rather dark yet welcoming, a few people chattering around and laughing at a joke, the smell of cigarettes burning filling up the room, and several people calling out at the bar for their preferred drinks. As he pushed on further to the room, he could finally hear the familiar voice of an angel singing a slow love song on stage as a few people gathered on the dance floor. He could see  _her_  now, and she was as beautiful as ever when she gave him a gentle smile as she continued with the song. 

All of a sudden, someone took hold of his hand and pulled him away from her.

The scenery changed, as the sophisticated set up of the club was replaced by the darkened streets full of people running towards the same direction. He was running with them, and he noticed the hand guiding him along the path leading to the concert venue. As they ran, the figure holding his hand turned around and he saw Dot’s gorgeous face with a bright smile on her red lips. She was giddy, and laughing as she said something a long the lines of  _I can’t believe we’re going to see Queen!_ as she pointed up the sign above them. As they entered the venue, the sound of Freddie Mercury’s voice boomed and filled the room as they sang some of their soon-to-be iconic songs. 

_“If you loved me, you’d fight for me.”_

The heavy atmosphere and loud songs slowly shifted and seemingly transitioned into a different, softer tune as Magnus’s memories took him back to the city of Puno, in Peru. He remembered the warmth of the sun as it hit his face, and the laughter he shared with Catarina and Ragnor as they made their way around town. The soft sound of the charango grew louder and louder as his thoughts wandered off, and he eventually saw  _him_  at the corner of the street. He looked as handsome as ever, but he did not smile at Magnus when he appeared before him. He stopped playing the charango, and as Magnus stepped closer, he could see that there was a mix of tiredness and anger in Imasu’s eyes. After giving Magnus one final look, the musician picked up some of his belongings on the floor and left without another glance back. 

Then, it was total darkness.

The sound of men shouting startled him, and he felt himself shake as another man stood before him. The man was gripping on to his shoulder, and it registered to him that the man had a mop of black hair and a pair of crystal blue eyes that stared intensely at him. The blue eyes were pleading, but Magnus didn’t know what to do and how to help. Then he watched as the man finally gave up on him, and disappeared towards the great halls of the Parisian castle. The Parisian man never glanced back at him, and he accepted the fact that he was gone forever. 

_“Do you even know what love is?”_

Her voice was as cold as her dead heart, and Magnus turned around to see her blood-stained lips pull up in a mocking grin as she stood there, dressed in maroon and black. She walked up to him, her fangs sticking out as she licked away the remaining blood that started to dip down from them. Magnus watched with sadness and pain as she circled around him, taunting him about his pathetic feelings for her. She ridiculed him on how naive he is about love, even after living for centuries and experiencing heart break  _over and over again_. She tried her best to make him give up on that idea, but he stood his ground as tears started to fall on his cheek. 

“Magnus?” 

The sound of Alec’s raspy, sleepy voice pulled him out of his deep thoughts, and his eyes shot open when he felt a slightly heavy fabric wrapped around his shoulders, covering most of his upper body. From the corner of his eye, he could see Alec staring at him with a worried look on his face. He felt his boyfriend’s hand reach up, and he gasped quietly as Alec carefully wiped away a few tears that silently fell down his cheek. He didn’t realize that he was crying, and that surprised him. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Alec whispered, pulling him closer and wrapping his other arm around Magnus’s back. Magnus leaned into him, and closed his eyes again as he rested his temple against Alec’s forehead “Did you remember the… memory again?” 

“No,” Magnus replied softly, turning his head to the side and almost bumping his nose with his boyfriend’s. His eyes opened slightly, and breathed out a heavy sigh as he continued to explain, “This is something else entirely.” 

Alec slightly frowned at that, but nodded as he try to understand the inner workings of his lover’s mind. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Maybe some other time, Alexander.”

Magnus’s voice sounded worn out and tired. He knew that Alec is aware about some of the people he has shared heartfelt moments with during the course of his long life, and he really wanted to tell him all about it. There were still a handful of old stories and almost-faded memories that a lot of people haven’t uncovered yet, but he decided that tonight was not the proper time to discuss it all. 

“Okay,” Alec breathed out, reaching up and placing a kiss on top of Magnus’s forehead. “Tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll be listening to all of it.” 

Magnus leaned back slightly as he opened his eyes again, and he properly stared at his Alexander’s face with a mixture of awe, relief, and fondness in his expression. As he took note of the way Alec’s hazel eyes looked in the moonlight, he finally had the answer to the last question Camille asked him a few decades ago. 

_“Do you even know what love is?”_

_I do,_  he thought to himself as a faint smile appeared on his lips. He placed a hand on Alec’s cheek and caressed it with his thumb, his eyes never leaving his.

_I do know love, and I’m staring right at him._

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta'd, like the rest of my fics that i've posted here before. i hope you all like this! tell me what you think in the comments below, or let's talk about it over at social media accounts: my twitter, [@hail_ndfarewell](http://twitter.com/hail_ndfarewell), or at my tumblr, [hail-andfarewell](http://hail-andfarewell.tumblr.com/)!


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